Changes I made were;
I omitted the band performance as the footage I got didn't resemble the song at all, nor did I feel that it added anything to the video as a whole.
Added split screens to make some of the 'plainer' footage such as the outside of the train and laptop shots more interesting. This in turn leads on to the asks of the audience. As much as the long held, one angle shots can generate interest and reflect the genre, having too many next to each other proves to slow the pace. Having the split screens means that multiple scenes can be presented at one point which helps to portray the fact that the person depicted in the video has many different issues going on in their life at one time, much like the some of the audience members as the target audience is people aged 16-25.